Po týchto posledných pár dňoch ,som mala naozaj namále, moje nervy už boli na tom tak zle, že som nevydržala fungovať v kľude a bez nadávania. Aj keď som väčšinu času strávila v práci, nebola pre mňa natoľko vyťažujúca ,aby som nemyslela na okolnosti a veci, ktoré sa diali okolo. Na váš nákup do domácnosti, kde bola zväčša kozmetika a niečo na jedenie, natierky, maslo a pod. vám povedia, že ste vlastne nič nekúpili, pritom na otázku, čo ešte treba, vám povedia ,že len to. Snažila som sa to ešte ignorovať, ale domáce hádky a všetok ten stres a nával, čo sa tu deje kvôli peniazom a tomu, že niekto si nedá povedať, aby dostával peniaze za svoj zdravotný stav, je na moje chápanie už priveľa. Jediné ma mrzí, že si vždy tieto stavy najviac odnesie práve ten ,kto s tým nič nemá, teda môj drahý. Včera aj keď poobede som ešte bola v pohode ,nie taká výbušná, sa to na mňa zvalilo, keď sme sa dovadili kvôli chate, kam ja nemám ako ísť, lebo som v práci,vysypalo sa toho dosť ,tak sme si ponadávali a jediné mu vďačím, jeho trpezlivosti pri mne, naozaj by to hocikto nevydržal a nezvládol tak elegantne ako on. Za tieto tri roky mi dal najviac do života. Je mi podporou aj motiváciou. Posunul sa napriek všetkých okolnostia naozaj ďaleko, čo sa týka psychológie a práce na sebe, povedala by som, že všetky veci, ktoré som sa naučila pri práci na sebe, on minimálne zdvojnásobil efekt na sebe. Vôbec nebol vystavený takým situáciam ako ja, ale nalepilo sa na neho raz toľko.
After this few days I was really tired, my nerves drop on ground, I didnt go right without nervous and indecent words. Its true, I spent lot of time at work, but wasnt that busy to stop thinking on situation which Im now. When you made provision ,where is lot of cosmetics to home and few think to eat like butter, spread, and they told you, it was wasting money and dont bring anything needs, but when you ask them ,what you have to buy to home, they didnt answer. I was trying to ignore this speeches, but that stress and bad situation at home made me angry, all just cos no money, you try to say them how can get money for free just for your bad health, its under my recognition. One ,what make me sad, all this carry down to my boyfriend. Yesterday ,till I was okay, not that angry as later, drop it on me all this shits, I argue with my boy to hard, we get ivnite to one house party, but dont have more free days from work and time to go there, but he wanna be there and I was abuse on myself what made angry him. I start cryin till finnish at work. Was it too hard and I dropped. I have to say thank you to him for everything what he is doing for me. He is patience of my sick, others breakdown it after month, but he tries it three years with me. He made it elegantly. He works on himself too hard, more than I try on me. He is the best support and motivation I can have in my life. Get so much informations from psychology ,what I have to know, he takes thousand times more from my knowledge as I took. And he didnt last situations like I must.
Na záver dňa prišiel za mnou, za čo mu nesmierne ďakujem, lebo by som asi preplakala ešte doteraz. Vďaka tej hádke, sa mi znova otvorili oči, že takto žiť nechcem, je na čase sa spamätať a robiť ,čo bude pre mňa potešením. Dnes sa mi žilo s ľahkosťou, boli sme v kine, kde sme sa rozhodli ísť asi dve hodiny pred tým, než išiel vlak, ale stálo to za to. Bol to naozaj krásny deň, film bol skvelý a spolu sme si posedeli v parku na slniečku. Cestou domov, sme prehodili pár slov ako ďalej a čo bude najlepšie aby sme sa osamostatnili. Nebyť tejto hádky, ešte dnes by som sa neusmievala, dalo mi to veľa a stále ma to utvrdzuje v tom, že aj keď som na dne, nedokážem racionálne myslieť a nenávidím celý svet, stále mám niekoho, pre koho sa oplatí žiť a trápiť.
At the end of day he came to me, for what he get big thank you, if he didnt come, I was cryin maybe till now. Thanks to this argue I open my eyes again, I wont live like this, its time to wake up and do something worth for myself. Today I was live easily, we were in cinema, where we decided to go about two hours before the train goes, but was the best. It was beautiful day, great film and we were sit in park next to station on sun. Through the road to home we talk about next steps to live together. If this argue wasnt come, I dont get smile yet, it get me lots of things, Im more sure when Im on ground and cant think right and hate all world I have someone for who is faithful to live and cry for.
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